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Showing posts from December, 2005

Thank you.

Although this blog began January 1, 2005, I was writing to myself for the first six months, as I had no idea about how to visit other blogs, leave comments, or get traffic. Duh on me - LOL So I would like to thank everyone who eventually came to visit, and especially those of you kind enough to leave comments. (These are in random order, not "most favored" or "most comments" or "most likely to get me noticed" LOL) Non-bloggers Kel = friend without a blog Robbie = friend without a blog Steph= friend without a blog MA = friend without a blog Sandy= EverAfter Weddings (not a blog - she does weddings - LOL) Bloggers Theresa = This Mom Blogs Nicole = Accidental Housekeeper Cavan = Blurred Line Blog Cheryl = Grrrrll Power Buffi = Sugar Mommy Trudie = Ain’t it Amazing? Kathy = Adventures in Online Selling Laina = Tales of a Hillbilly Princess Courtney = My thoughts...or lack thereof Hot Coffee = 7h075 Stacey = Stac Space Cpt Pyro = Life as I know

Christmas 2005 Part Three

Thus our family was blessed with the best gift in the world. Love. A new person to hug, to laugh with, to help plot world domination - LOL She is beautiful, charming, intelligent, funny and caring. Her gift request from my son was a donation to Doctors Without Borders . When I had adequately repaired my makeup, (God Bless the inventor of waterproof mascara LOL) we sallied forth to our last stop, my husband's parents'. They’re a hoot and a half in their own right. Still spry and hilarious in their 80’s, they greeted us with smiles and a crackling fire (in the fireplace, unlike a friend found years ago, when a mentally unbalanced relative set her bathroom on fire trying to sneak a cigarette. Nothing says Christmas like a blazing toilet - LOL!) Eldest Son and Steady Girlfriend/Now Fiancée arrived about an hour after us, adequate time for us to open gifts and squirm with worry that one of our youngens would spill the beans - LOL Grandma had just suggested a game of bingo when

Christmas 2005 Part Two

We managed to surprise and delight each family member, a miracle right up there with Jesus’ birth. (Thunder rumbles in the distance...OK, I get it, back off of the comparisons to the Lord - Sorry - LOL) There IS instant karma in seeing gifts make their recipients happy though, and Husband puts his arm around me, and we share a knowing smile as we watch their shining faces light up. Then it is off to visit. Over the river and through the sprawling subdivisions, to Eldest Son’s house we go. He shares an abode with a cast of characters worthy of the wildest sit-com writer’s imagination. Males, females, feline and canine all happily reside in the split-level funhouse. They have decorated extensively, and filled one another’s stockings with kindergarten toys. There is something magical about seeing a tattooed, eyebrow-pierced young man sitting cross-legged on the floor, giggling over a coloring book. Eldest Son learned deviousness and trickery at his mother’s knee, and we end up giv

Christmas 2005 Part One

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Ah, Christmas has passed. Like a kidney stone. Just kidding, it was great. We were blessed to have all three of our children, plus my husband’s parents together on Christmas Day. The day began at home. When your “baby” is 16, it is not longer the youngens tugging on the covers at 5 AM to awaken their parents, but rather two weary but smiling adults, sipping coffee and glancing periodically towards the rooms of their slumbering progeny. Husband questions, “Should we wake them up?” I say I have an idea. He looks at me questioningly. He knows me too well. I reassure him it does not involve ice cubes or chainsaws. LOL I bake crescent rolls. You have to understand this family’s love of crescent rolls. A platter of crescent rolls can vanish quicker than St. Nick up the chimney. Don’t blink, or you will be roll-less. The timer goes off, and I scurry into the kitchen. I pull the baking sheet out, and hand Husband an oven mitt and hot roll. “Take this into Daughter’s room and wave it

Merry Christmas Bloggers!

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Best wishes to all of my fellow bloggers for a Merry Christmas! May peace and love fill your hearts and souls, May we not be spammed by comment trolls. May our posts be witty, our thoughts delight, May words we type, some thought ignite. May truth and hope we all embrace, Blogs make the world a better place! Christmas

KEN'S LETTER TO SANTA

Dear Santa, I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of some issues concerning Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs and desires. First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve preferential treatment - the bitch has EVERYTHING! Myself, Joe, Stacey, Skipper, and Raggedy Ann & Andy, DO NOT have a dream house, Corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases, the ability to change our hairstyle. I personally have 3 outfits which I am forced to mix and match at great length. My decision to accessorize my outfits with an earring was my decision and reflects my lifestyle choice. I, too, would like a change in my career. Have you considered :"Decorator Ken", "

WHY THE ANGEL IS ATOP THE CHRISTMAS TREE

Not long ago Santa was getting ready for his annual trip. . .but there were problems every where. . . four of the elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. . .then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mum was coming to visit. . . This stressed Santa even more. . .when he went to harness the reindeer he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where. . .more stress. And then, when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards on the sleigh cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered all the toys. . . Frustrated Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. . .but he found that the elves had hit the liquor cupboard and there was nothing there to drink. . .and in his frustration he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. .

The Week Before Christmas

‘Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the place, There was garland to hang, dust bunnies to chase. The greetings were stamped, addressed with great care, In hopes that the mail carrier soon would be there; The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of vid-yo games danced in their heads; I am in my sweatsuit, with presents to wrap, Tape’s stuck to my fingers, I wish I could nap. When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the couch to see what’s the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a cat who’s in heat, and four suitors, sincere. With a hiss and a squall, she darted away, Leaving all of the boy cats, to start a big fray. More rapid than eagles the male cats, they came, And I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "

HARD LUCK CHRISTMAS STORY

Please read this all the way through. Trust me - LOL A friend sent it to a group of us. I was in a hurry, and afraid it was going to be depressing, so I didn’t, until I read the responses of the other recipients, and realized what I’d missed. ******************************* Late last week, I was rushing around trying to get some last minute shopping done. I was stressed out and not thinking very fondly of the Christmas season right then. It was dark, cold, and wet in the parking lot as I was loading my car up with gifts that I felt obligated to buy. I noticed that I was missing a receipt that I might need later. So mumbling under my breath, I retraced my steps to the mall entrance. As I was searching the wet pavement for the lost receipt, I heard a quiet sobbing. The crying was coming from a poorly dressed boy of about 12 years old. He was short and thin. He had no coat. He was just wearing a ragged flannel shirt to protect him from the cold night's chill. Oddly enough, he

Slittin’ on the Dock of E-Bay

I make a little money selling stuff at E-Bay , and most of the time it’s a lot of fun. Christmas can get a WEE bit crazy though, and I am about ready to slit my wrists. Just kidding. I do not want to speak unkindly of the buyers, because they are sweet people who send me money - LOL E-Bay itself, as a company, could make things just a little bit easier, though. Yo, Meg! (Margaret C. Whitman, CEO of Ebay Inc.) Have you ever tried to list anything yourself? Here, have a Prozac and we’ll run through it together. Let’s list this Christmas ornament. No, Meg, we’re not going to worry about political correctness and call it a Holiday Ornament. It’s a Santa Clause for Christ’s sake. No I’m not cursing at you; Christmas IS for Christ’s sake. Let’s have a shot of whiskey. OK, here’s the home page. What’s with this "it" thing? {{Meg shrugs}} Now we’ll go to "Sell". Oh, I see somebody else complained, ‘cause you’ve got a new version of the Sell Your Item Form. 'B

Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

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I think snow is beautiful, even though I know it’s out to get me - LOL The flakes started falling at dawn yesterday. We now have a foot! School let out early yesterday, and is closed today. McDonald’s never closes though, so I will be braving the elements to delivery Fry Boy to his appointed station. Click on picture to enlarge. Use back button to return. The BBQ and a lawn chair on our front porch Wish me well............... * * * * * * * UPDATE: Traveled at top speed of 28 mph. One hour, three slides-going-around-corners, two attempts to make it up driveway, and countless frayed nerves, I made it! Christmas

BARBIE'S CHRISTMAS LIST

Barbie c/o Mattel, Inc. El Segundo, CA 90245 Santa Claus North Pole, North Pole Dear Santa: Listen you ugly little troll, I've been helping you out for decades, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, getting my hair ripped out by little brothers, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT'S DEFINITELY PAYBACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I'm gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you won't wanna be around to smell it). So, here's my holiday wish list: 1. A nice, comfy pair of sweat pants and a soft oversized sweatshirt. I'm sick of looking like a hooker. How much smaller are these bathing suits gonna get? Do you have any idea what it feels like to have nylon and velcro crawling up your butt? 2. Real underwear that can be pulled on and off. Preferably white. What bonehead at Mattel decided to cheap out and MOLD imitation underwear to my skin?!? It

Deck the Halls!

Pullin' out the Christmas decorations here...don't trip on any of the extension cords - LOL! Are any of you doing special blog decorating for the holidays? When does it reach the point of overkill? (Please don't tell me I'm there - LOL!) Is the page loading slowly? I was concerned about using the big pictures. . . (So much to worry about, so little time - LOL) Christmas

World AIDS Day

My best friend Al, died of AIDS nearly two decades ago. He was the first gay man I knew well. He was a good friend of my husband, and introduced us. (Knowing if we were both crazy enough to enjoy his company we would get along with one another - LOL) He had a wicked sense of humor and could always make me laugh. He taught me things about pleasuring a man that I would never have thought of - LOL When I was an unwed mother, he accompanied me to an elegant soirée held by the radiologists of the hospital I was shaming by continuing to work in their x-ray department, despite being knocked up and not married. Having premarital sex is not an adequate reason for dismissal, so they had to put up with me. I told Al of the upcoming event, to be held at an exclusive club. I said since my future husband/father of my child had to work, that I wouldn’t be attending. I was informed in no uncertain terms that I would be attending, with him (Al) as my “date” because he’d always wanted to see the in