Wednesday, December 21, 2005

KEN'S LETTER TO SANTA

Dear Santa, I understand that one of my colleagues has petitioned you for changes in her contract, specifically asking for anatomical and career changes. In addition, it is my understanding that disparaging remarks were made about me, my ability to please, and some of my fashion choices. I would like to take this opportunity to inform you of some issues concerning Ms. Barbie, and some of my own needs and desires. First of all, I along with several other colleagues feel Barbie DOES NOT deserve preferential treatment - the bitch has EVERYTHING! Myself, Joe, Stacey, Skipper, and Raggedy Ann & Andy, DO NOT have a dream house, Corvette, evening gowns, and in some cases, the ability to change our hairstyle. I personally have 3 outfits which I am forced to mix and match at great length. My decision to accessorize my outfits with an earring was my decision and reflects my lifestyle choice. I, too, would like a change in my career. Have you considered :"Decorator Ken", "Beauty Salon Ken", or "Out of Work Actor Ken"? In addition, there are several other avenues which could be considered such as: "S&M Ken," "Bear Ken", or "Master Ken". These would more accurately reflect my desires and perhaps open new markets. And as for Barbie needing bendable arms so she can "push me away", I need bendable knees so I can kick that bitch to the curb. Bendable knees would also be helpful for me in other situations-we've talked about this issue before. In closing, I would like to point out that any further concessions to the blond bimbo from hell will result in action taken by myself and others. PS. Barbie can forget about having G I Joe - he's mine, at least that is what he said last night. Sincerely, Ken ********************** Good grief! Two posts in one day from me - LOL!

7 Comments:

Blogger The Village Idiot said...

hey marti!

Don't cry, i never had a blogroll. I put my links up manually way back when i started blogging and am far too lazy to update them, so you've not been expunged or deleted or anything. When I eventually get around to putting all my blog friends on my sidebar, or starting a blogroll, you're definitely in!

Hope that cheers you up!
the idiot

12/21/2005 12:52:00 PM  
Blogger Laina said...

LOL LOL LOL!! Poor Ken.

12/21/2005 03:54:00 PM  
Blogger Kevin said...

Very funny! Well done.

12/21/2005 03:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Chickadee said...

I LOVE it! That's funny.

12/21/2005 09:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Poor Ken! I had to think a minute to figure out the other reason for bendable knees! :O

12/22/2005 01:36:00 PM  
Blogger Rocky said...

Loved the Santa letter from Ken Doll. I'm sure he hopes to someday be anatomically correct and be able to drive a Corvette that's NOT pink.

12/23/2005 09:16:00 AM  
Blogger FTS said...

I always felt Ken had a certain... shall we say, "flair" about him. lol

Merry Christmas :)

12/24/2005 05:18:00 AM  

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