Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Trench Warfare In Our Driveway

We have a gravel driveway that is a thousand feet long and ten miles deep. It is paved with gravel. That is until the Great Rock Eating Phantom that lives underground wants a midnight snack. We'll get a new load of rock spread on it, and soon, the gravel is disappearing into the ground. Irregularly of course, so that the lovely white, smooth surface becomes lumpy and pitted. We've been feeding the GREP for 20 years now, and there is no indication of his appetite diminishing. The first few years, we thought, "Well, sooner or later the gravel will have been shoved into the earth completely to the bedrock, and THEN we won't have to dump so much on so often." It didn't happen sooner, we're still waiting for later. In between loads of gravel, dips and bumps appear. Husband related this story to me the other day, and it gave me a chuckle so I thought I'd share. Since we are out in the sticks, there is a plethora of wildlife out here. Deer roam freely. Raccoons mosey up onto the porch and eat the cat food. Squirrels taunt the cats, dashing from tree limb to tree limb. Skunks, possums, moles, field mice and the rare mountain lion or coyote wander through. The cats have little interest in them. But the rabbits! There is something about the rabbits that enthrall the felines. A cottontail, hoppin' down the bunny trail, will catch the attention of even the laziest cat. Rabbits are very quick though, and can easily spot an approaching cat, and hop away to safety. The cats have realized that to give the rabbits a run for their money, they would need to be more devious. They have adopted trench warfare tactics. Because husband departs for work very early in the morning, he witnesses some of the nocturnal chicanery by the light of the silvery moon (and dual beam halogen headlights). Seems the cats have learned to flatten their bodies out in a dip in the driveway, and become one with the gravel. And wait. Husband will pull out slowly, look down the driveway, and see nothing but ears. Ears that are twitching with anticipation. Wait, wait...Ah! Here comes Mr. Bunny. Twitch, twitch...bunny pauses, glances around, feels secure and begins nibbling on the clover. ATTACK! Fur flying, feet pounding, the chase is on! Don't panic, the rabbits are still faster, but...the cats have taken up a collection among themselves and are paying the fox a consulting fee, so who knows what Fate holds for Mr. Bunny.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was entertaining!!!
Is it as much fun to watch as it is to read about?

8/23/2005 02:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cats are always as much, if not more, fun to watch than to read about.

8/23/2005 03:30:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny story, Marti - I like all that about the gravel eating monster too!

On our court we have two wild rabbits (ferrel?) that live. We also have several neighborhood cats that roam around (one of them is my fatcat Jammer). I see the cats stalk and hide/watch the rabbits but have never seen one of them attack or give chase. Probably because these rabbits outweigh any one of these cats by at least 8 lbs. - B I G wild rabbits.


8/23/2005 06:41:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The cats are taking the gravel into the woods and dumping it, just so they can engage in trench warfare! Aren't ya glad I figured that out for you? LOL Somewhere in the woods, is a nice gravel driveway, ;)

8/23/2005 09:45:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like as much fun as watching my dogs stalk the squirrels. Hilarious!

8/24/2005 12:08:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amusing. I once had a cat that would routinely bring me hares -- dead hares -- that he'd caught. Not bunnies, but as fast, if not faster. Bunnies and hares are pretty much extinct in these parts since the coyote incurions of 20 years ago...

About the disappearing crushed rock. Before spending good money for one more stone, have your local road builder install some of that new-fangled "filter fabric" on your drive after eliminating the god-awful hump with her grader. That keeps the "fines" (clay and soil) from migrating upwards between the individual pieces of stone. Once a good 6" layer of stone is overlaid and shaped to drain to the sides of the drive you should see a good five to seven years pass before any more work is needed. And next time you'll only need a third of the replacement stone you use now.

8/24/2005 05:33:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Thank you all for your comments, laughter and suggestions!

I truly appreciate everyone who stops by to read and comment!

8/24/2005 10:02:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMAO! I wish my cats weren't too lazy to hunt!

8/24/2005 01:13:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know that people in China are wondering where all that gravel comes from.

If you get a chance, read this article about mr. fluffy. He totally kicks cat-butt


8/24/2005 04:20:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...


Laina, I could Fed-Ex you a rabbit, that might catch you kittie's interest

(I imagine a rabbit shipped via Fed-Ex would be ready to give some cats a run for their money - LOL)

Thanks for stopping by!

8/24/2005 06:57:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

OMG! V. I., that was hilarious! Great writing and photos of the cat!

Thanks for stopping by and sharing the link!

8/24/2005 06:59:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Ack! Hisses and makes sign of the cross with her forearms...

no that's Wonder Woman...

anyway...ack - comment spammers! Hiss! Hiss!

Don't waste your time HERE boys, I'm dumping you as soon as I spot you.

8/24/2005 07:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/24/2005 07:39:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/24/2005 07:44:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love your writing!
We lived on a ranch until last fall, and our LONG driveway was the same way. Where does all that gravel go? I'd like to see a documentary on that someday.

8/24/2005 08:21:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thats funny. I just got a cat. Hopefully, it will not be spending its time in the driveway...

8/25/2005 04:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/25/2005 08:26:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8/25/2005 08:52:00 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

STOP the comment spamming!

Don't waste your time HERE boys, I'm dumping you as soon as I spot you.

Do you fools really think this is going to help your business?


(Secretly suspects they must be making up for some sort of deficiency...why don't you little weenies get in touch with the enlargement e-mail spammers?)

8/26/2005 05:29:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I were Mr. Bunny I think I would get together with Mrs. Bunny and begin having little Bunnies to begin evening out the odds. Besides making Bunnies is fun ;).

Next thing you know the cats will be setting up small machine guns on their side of the driveway.

I've had several cats that used to bring us dead birds from time to time just to say thanks for taking care of em. And what I want to know is if a bunny can get away from a couple of cats on the ground then why can't the stupid birds which can fly away and sit in trees?

The Lumpy

8/26/2005 09:08:00 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Greetings to Jamie Dawn, Wednesday, and Lesser Lumpkin! Thank you all for stopping by!

I will try to visit y'all as soon as possible (if it ever stops raining here and I can be on the computer for more than five minutes - LOL)

8/26/2005 02:36:00 PM  

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