Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Enter the Laughter Named to Blog Herald List

Well duh on me - LOL Took the day off from the internet yesterday to spend time with family. Stupid family! LOL (Just kidding) But it did cause me to miss one of the biggest honors yet for this blog - being named to the Blog Herald’s "100 Blogs in 100 Days" list! I am speechless (which you know is a rarity - LOL) I would like to thank The Blog Herald for naming me, I am genuinely flattered and honored. Please swing by there and let him know this wasn't a huge mistake - LOL! Because I am too verklempt to say anything witty, I will reprint one of my favorite blog posts, from July 29, 2005, my birthday: DMV or Diarrheal Mahatma Voodoo Only in America could a severely flatulent white woman, a nice gentleman from India, and his Haitian wife meet in the line at a Department of Motor Vehicles office, and bond. Still suffering The War of the Bowels, I was feelin' mighty poorly, and the last thing I EVER want to do, (much less when I am suffering from diarrhea) is go to the DMV. But the new Neon had to have the taxes paid and the license purchased, because Husband must commute from the farm through a nearby small town, and the fine upstanding officers who may read this so I am not about to say anything bad about them, do tend to look for those minor infractions like one mile over the speed limit, or two minutes past the expiration of your tags. So, while Husband was sympathetic to my plight, he requested that if it were humanly possible, he wanted me to go take care of the nasty business. And nasty it was. I packed up my troubles (and Kaopectate) in my ol' kit bag (along with all of the necessary paperwork) and biled, biled, biled. The line snaked around in a zigzag pattern, disguising how long it really was. Sneaky bastards. An exotic couple were last in line when I entered the building, and were muttering to one another in accented English, about the pitiful lack of available office workers and the wife's desire to put a hex on the clerks who disappeared through a side door never to be seen again. I stepped into the space behind them and promptly passed gas. They turned, I blushed, and apologized. It was the first of many such moments. My gut ached and cramped. The line never seemed to move forward, but other weary applicants lengthened the queue. The couple in front of me turned again when an involuntary moan escaped my lips. "You sound berry bad," the kindly gentleman from India said. I nodded. Motioning to the slow-moving line and group of folks who continued to pour into the building, he asked, "is it always this crowded?" You know you're in a bad situation when a Calcutta native thinks the place is crowded. I nodded again, afraid to open my mouth, fearing a sulfurous belch might escape and combust, the room was so hot. An old man several spaces ahead of us was pretty clever. He had retrieved a chair from the hallway, and sat in it in line. Every so often, he would abruptly stand up and spout random epitaphs to no one in particular. After his pronouncement, he would sit back down, and doze off for a while. I conversed with the couple, who explained they had met in a community college class. They were very nice, and held my spot for me when I felt something heavier than gas about to escape, and dashed to the toilet. When the old man took his turn with the clerk, the nice gentleman from India retrieved his chair for me. Finally, I was able to shuffle off to beefalo. That is not a typo, it is a product sold at my next stop, the nearby meat store. It a cross between beef cattle and buffalo, high in protein, low in fat, and amusing to imagine being conceived. I drive past the buffalo ranch if I take the gravel road into town, and they are magnificent beasts to behold, but for some reason, picturing one of them fornicating with Elsie the cow, just makes me giggle. I feel a little better today, and plan to sit back and chill, 'cause it's my birthday! Best wishes to all who read!

18 Comments:

Blogger Chas Ravndal said...

congratulations on being named on the 100 blogs in 100 daysin the Blog Herald!!!

1/17/2006 07:22:00 AM  
Anonymous Penny said...

Congratulations on the honor roll! I feel the same way, being spotlighted by FTS!

If you lived in Las Vegas, you could have hired someone to stand in line for you at the DMV ... it's amazing what people will do for a few bucks!

Thanks for stopping by and for the great comment!

1/17/2006 08:02:00 AM  
Blogger KristieD said...

This was actually the very first post i ever read on your blog and what got me hooked in the 1st place! I was relieved to know there was someone else in the world who looked at life a little like me. :)

Congrats!!!!

1/17/2006 08:43:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats, Marti! You deserve the honor and many more!

Kel

1/17/2006 09:51:00 AM  
Blogger cube said...

Congratulations. Bloggers need to take all the honors bestowed upon them because, frankly, there isn't much remuneration in it, so you have to take what you can ;-)

Sorry about the relentless gas, but it did make for a humorous post.

1/17/2006 01:09:00 PM  
Blogger iwrite said...

Congratulations! You are too funny. I hate it when that hook comes out of no where!

:)
Leigh
www.thespinningpen.blogspot.com
www.mendingresolute.com
www.theresolutereader.blogspot.com

1/17/2006 02:14:00 PM  
Blogger puremood said...

Birthday? happy Birthday!

Chill? May I join you??

Congrats on the blog honor, that's fab!

Glad ya feel better, too :)

1/17/2006 02:21:00 PM  
Blogger Lesser_Lumpkin said...

Marti,

Just wanted to stop by and say congratulations.

The Lumpy

1/17/2006 03:12:00 PM  
Blogger FTS said...

I went over and commented at the 100 blogs site. Way to go! :)

1/17/2006 03:37:00 PM  
Blogger Laina said...

Congrats Marti! You definitely deserved it!

1/17/2006 03:49:00 PM  
Blogger Breezey375 said...

Congratulations, that is great!

1/17/2006 04:23:00 PM  
Blogger threecollie said...

I just offered you congratulations and then realized that one of my daughters was signed in (breezey375)
so I repeat Congratulations, that is great...and add, really great!!

1/17/2006 04:25:00 PM  
Blogger Theresa said...

WOOOHOOOO! You deserved it!

1/17/2006 05:26:00 PM  
Anonymous mike said...

Congrats! Take all the recognition you can get (and hopefully more traffic!)

1/17/2006 09:56:00 PM  
Blogger StringMan said...

Congrats on the blog herald list. Didn't realize you were such a star!

1/17/2006 10:38:00 PM  
Blogger Marti said...

Thank you all SO much! I deeply appreciate all of the kind comments. FTS, thank you for going by the Blog Herald and leaving a comment there.

I write here because I love writing, and I get such tremendous joy from interacting with all of you! I try to stop by and visit everyone who comments, because I am truly grateful for you taking the time to stop in and drop me a line.

I look forward to continuing to share the awful things that happen to me with you - LOL

All of the family is ill today - home with the flu, so I may not get a lot of computer time, but I will be back as soon as possible.

1/18/2006 07:40:00 AM  
Anonymous Kristen said...

congrats!

1/18/2006 09:35:00 AM  
Blogger Uisce said...

Congrats, Marti! That's really exciting!!

1/18/2006 01:29:00 PM  

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