Sunday, November 20, 2005

Bonzai Bondini

I did a stupid thing. (Regular readers go "Duh" LOL) Naturally, I was in a hurry. It was time to drive Daughter to school. I’d gone outside, fed the cats, started the car so the heater and defroster could "get busy" and heat things up (ah young love LOL) I nearly froze my rose. It was r-e-a-l-l-y cold. I advised Daughter to bundle up, and I went in search of additional garments. I found a big fuzzy hoody that seemed perfect. I pulled it on over my head. Without taking my eyeglasses off. This was a stupid thing. **POP** Snap goes the earpiece. The hoody slipped over my body, taking the left earpiece with it. Daughter arrived in the room, tapping her foot and saying, "C’mon Mom." I mumble, "juzamin" because the hoody is now halfway off, and I am speaking through it, while searching the interior for the missing part. I find the piece but there is no time for repairs. I slip the one-armed wonder on my face, and it perches precariously, somewhat monocle-like. I could have ordered replacement eyeglass frames, but I am a big ol' cheapskate - LOL When I return home, I attempt repair. Without the aid of the vision-enhancing lens, this will be difficult, but don’t think I didn’t learn my lesson from the Great Glue Debacle of Aught 2, when similar circumstances ended badly with an earpiece glued to my hair. I assembled all of the materials on the computer desk in front of me. I did a dry test run to ascertain the correct placement (let’s not discuss the Upside Down Glue Repair Disaster of ’98). I pulled out my trusty Bondini. (Disclaimer: I am not an employee or paid endorsement spokesperson for this product)

Bondini is fabulous. It is the best super glue ever made. I love it. I should own stock. It will stick ANYTHING. It comes in a wonderful little bottle that delivers every single drop. None of those icky-sticky tubes that the cap sticks to but nothing else will, for this gal. I opened the container, double checked the placement, and placed the single, magnificent drop. Pressing the two parts together, I waited. There was a knock at the door. We don’t get many knockers. We are far out in the woods and even farther off the road through the woods. The only people who know we are here are mail carriers, tow truck drivers and die-hard Jehovah’s Witnesses. It was the die-hards. No, I really don’t want a copy of the Watch Tower, I am quite happy as a Satan worshipper. Could I interest YOU in this lovely gilded pentagram? Only $2.99 or two for $5...whaddya say? Where are you going? (That one always works LOL) I’d set the repair job down on the edge of the table to answer the door. Gravity, the tights-and-cape-wearing-superhero "Enforcer for the Laws of Nature," was having sport with me that morning, and had lightly bumped the earpiece, dislodging it from the repair position and into the trash can next to the desk. I retrieved the earpiece, which now had barnacle-like attachments of lint, hair and paper towels. I chip off the offending bits, (rather like chiseling granite) frustrated at the failure of my first attempt. I began again and in my haste, did a very foolish thing. I broke the first rule of Glue Club. We don’t leave the glue bottle uncapped. I’d made sure the materials were assembled, run the placement test, but failed the critical step of re-capping. After the magic drop was applied and the seal was formed, I again delicately placed the repair-in-progress back on the desk to dry, and smugly reached for my coffee cup, knocking over the uncapped bottle and creating a Keyboard Kamikaze Attack.

ACK! Danger, danger! Don’t spill the coffee! Don’t bump the repair! Grab the bottle and turn it upright! Replace the cap; don’t stick your fingers together! Turn the keyboard upside down to prevent a pandemic of stickage! NO! Don’t flip it over on your lap to drain - how will you explain preparing Thanksgiving dinner while having a keyboard glued to your thighs? It could have been worse. I ended up with a good repair (still holding - knock on wood), half a bottle of Bondini left, no coffee spilled, and only one key glued down (I don’t even know what "Pause/Break" does, so no big loss there LOL) In the Panoply of Accidents, this was minor. That is one of the many things I express gratitude this week for. I send all of you best wishes for a glorious week. May you share the joy of family and friends, and give thanks for all that you have. That’s my plan!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Very entertaining entry, Marti. I bet I know the 2nd rule of Glue Club: Don't leave the bottle uncapped. (LOVE it when you throw movie refs in your entries)

You have a great holiday too - and STAY WARM! (I won't even mention that we just got back from our last baseball game 'til February and it was friggin' 73 degrees out there! oops, I just did! I guess our weather is one of the reasons we have to rip off an arm & a leg and promise our 1st born to buy a house here)



11/20/2005 04:37:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you dodged a bullet (or five!). I always wondered what that pause/break key was for as well.

**note to self** take glasses OFF before donning hoody...

Have a good week, Marti!

11/20/2005 10:59:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my. LOL! I need that glue - with four kids there's always something that beaks! Um what DOES the pause key do?

11/21/2005 09:01:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Funny post! If it was McDonald's coffee, maybe you could sue for damages?

11/21/2005 12:12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ROTFLOL - That's a great post Marti!

Have an awesome Thanksgiving!

11/21/2005 12:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wait, but who was the knocker?!

11/22/2005 01:28:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't wear glasses, or own Bondini. But I can so totally relate, because if I did....we'd have been in the same boat.

11/23/2005 05:02:00 PM  

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