Monday, October 31, 2005

Happy Halloween!

Thanks to everyone who left great stories or links in the comments section! I’ve had a few e-mail replies to my request for Halloween stories: Sandy sent this photo: It's a yard here in St. Louis and I think that what they did was so cute. I call it Ghost Dancers or Seven Sheets to the Wind. (I love her sense of humor!)

***** Mary Ann sent this photo:

LOL! Thanks to both friends! ***** I left a comment at Shel Isreal’s blog, "Naked Conversations" and he was kind enough to respond personally, despite his busy schedule, co-writing with Robert Scoble of Microsoft. I asked him if he had a story he could share and he replied: I am sorry, but I really am against book-related deadlines and don’t have time to scan my childhood for a juicy anecdote. The quickest that comes to mind is when I wound up in the hospital after running headlong (or neck-long) into a clothesline that served as a karate chop to my throat. Why? Because someone was chasing me after I waxed his window for refusing to give me any treats. -Shel I wrote back and thanked him, and he replied: When I think of clotheslines, I get all choked up. -Shel LOL! Thanks Shel! ****************** A couple of jokes: A little boy is dressed as a pirate captain for Halloween. He knocks on the door of a house and a lady answers. She says "Well, well little boy, what are you supposed to be?" He says "I am a pirate captain". She says "Well--where are your buccaneers?" He says "Right here under my buckin' hat." ***** As we all prepare for the upcoming Halloween night, please take a few minutes to read some simple rules to help keep everyone safe. 1. - Don't assume the telephone calls are coming from another house. 2. - When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead. 3. - Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke. 4. - Don't go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out! 5. - If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else's voice. 6. - When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER split up and go it alone. 7. - Don't have sex. Especially if you've noticed a few of your friends are missing! 8. - As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell. 9. - Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well. 10. - If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, don't stand there sighing with relief, GET THE HELL OUT! 11. - If appliances start operating by themselves, don't check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT! 12. - Do not take ANYTHING from the dead. 13. - If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around. 14. - Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing. 15. - If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely ambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you. 16. - If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately. 17. - Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine. 18. - If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange because you thought you had at least half of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten. 19. - Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions. 20. - If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house. ***** Technorati tags: , , , , .

9 Comments:

Anonymous Colleen said...

OMG!!! That first picture...I totally know where that's at!!! It's about 3 miles from my house. cool!

10/31/2005 04:09:00 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

So, Marti and Hoss are out in the graveyard and we see a monster. I bend over to slip into my Nikes. Marti says, "That won't help. You can't outrun that thing."

Hoss: "I only need to outrun YOU!"

Heh. Hoss 1, Marti 0

10/31/2005 06:19:00 PM  
Blogger Ivy the Goober said...

Thanks for the tips. I definitely won't be having sex tonight (missing friends or no)

10/31/2005 07:56:00 PM  
Blogger Rocky said...

Thanks for the Halloween tips. I'd suggest adding "Fargo" to #17 and "Wood chipper" to #19, just to be safe!

11/01/2005 02:16:00 AM  
Anonymous Theresa said...

Ugh...I missed the story sharing because I was going to the lake! Drats!

I loved this line - "When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead." LOL

11/01/2005 08:58:00 AM  
Blogger Marti said...

Wow Colleen, I should get you and Sandy together - she's a hoot!
***
Watch your back Hoss, I'm a sneaky one - LOL!
***
Ivy I wouldn't want to stand in the way of anyone's pleasure - LOL
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Good suggestions Rocky - that was one gruesome movie!
***

Aw,Theresa you can still play - LOL Or I can send folks to read your "a-mazing" tale LOL!
***
Thank you ALL so much for stopping by!

If anyone still wants to send in a story or photos, I got a couple of pictures late last night that I have posted, I'd be happy to add more!

Happy November 1 to everyone!

11/01/2005 10:11:00 AM  
Blogger Laina said...

LOL, I LOVE the safety tips!

11/01/2005 11:04:00 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

ROTFLMAO - That is freaking hilarious!!!

11/01/2005 12:36:00 PM  
Blogger Marti said...

Hi laina and amy!

Glad I could make you smile!

Thanks for stopping by!

11/01/2005 12:58:00 PM  

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