A Jamaican I met in Miami the day after Ivan passed through Jamaica, while deeply concerned about his country and his relatives there, questioned, "Why are hurricanes named after men?" When I responded that it is because most men are a bunch of windbags full of hot air, he replied, "Because they're noisy, make a huge mess, and if you look into their eyes there's nothing there." Then he asked me why they named hurricanes like Frances after women. I didn't know, so he told me, "Because they arrive wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car." It is not that they are trying to trivialize the event so much as put it into perspective, to place it in a context that they could deal with it and come to terms with the pain and loss. *********** Hurricane Humor My car gets 23.21675 miles per gallon, EXACTLY (you can ask the people in line who helped me push it). There are a lot more stars in the sky than most people thought. A 7 lb bag of ice will chill six 12-oz Budweiser's to a drinkable temperature in 11 minutes, and still keep a 14 pound turkey frozen for 8 more hours. Flood plane drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong. Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators. When required, a Lincoln Continental will float; it doesn't steer well, but it floats just the same. Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds. Your waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole. I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout. Drywall is a compound word, take away the "dry" part and it's worthless. I can walk a lot farther than I thought. *********** The Holding Cell By "Tender" Head Administrator Global user With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy. You may be a hurricane survivor if. . .
You have more than 20 C and D batteries in your kitchen drawer. You find yourself dropping words like "millibar" and "convection" into everyday conversation. You are on a first-name basis with the cashier at Home Depot. Three months ago you couldn't hang a shower curtain; today you can assemble a portable generator by candlelight. You catch a 5-pound catfish. In your driveway. You can recite from memory whole portions of your homeowner's insurance policy. You can rattle off the names of three or more meteorologists who work at the Weather Channel. Someone comes to your door to tell you they found your roof. Ice is a valid topic of conversation. Relocating to North Dakota does not seem like such a crazy idea.