Thursday, September 22, 2005

Hewwo fwiends,

Sowwy fo not whiting. Hab had bad toofache, had to hab it pulled. Oww. ((Pulling myself together enough to speak properly for a moment.}} I am too sore and drugged up to relate the experience so I am posting a story I wrote a back in October 2002, the last time I had a tooth pulled, as this experience was nearly identical. Enjoy. - - - - - The tooth pain has been increasing for several days. Unfortunately, we only have one car right now, and I had already told Daughter that I would drive Husband in to work, so I would have the car to pick her up after school. I was to take her to a friend's Halloween costume party that evening. As soon as the office opened, I called the dentist to see if I could get an emergency appointment. They said they could work me in, but 11:30 was the only time. Husband usually leaves between 1 and 1:30 to drive to work, so I knew that would be cutting it close, but I didn't care - my jaw was swollen up like a peach. Examination, x-rays, explanation of abscess and required removal, then they started shooting in the novocaine. Shoot....wait...poke with sharp dental tool while asking, "Can you feel this?" I mutter "yeth." Shoot it again...repeat. Repeat FIVE times! Dentist says that due to the infection the novocaine is less effective, because it becomes diluted in the fluid (I won't say "pus" that's just so gross LOL). At last all pokey tool jabs result in no feeling, and he begins. Gets out a pair of pliers that could pull the Titanic out of the iceberg. Yanks firmly with one hand. Nothing happens. Yanks firmly with two hands. I think eventually he had his foot on the chair and a pulley hooked up to a truck outside, and with a mighty yank, pulled it out. Except for the root. Ah yes, I have deep roots, apparently attached to my pelvis. It broke off. Sounded like a large tree snapping in a hurricane. I heard an audible moan from the dentist and assistant. I had visions of Husband growing a long white beard waiting in the parking lot, and Daughter graduating.....college. I knew we were gonna be here a while. It required (close your eyes if you are squeamish) something more akin to oral surgery than a simple extraction, as now the dentist had to dig and slice his way down to the broken off nub, then cut himself a wide enough swath to grab it for removal. This, of course, required even more novocaine. The taste of blood filled my head, and the assistant was franticly trying to use the little sucker-straw fast enough to keep up. At last, the nub was removed; he applied enough gauze to cover the entire state (a la Cristo, the fabric-draping artist), and sent me on my merry way. It was nearly 2PM. We drove to his office, and about halfway there, the novocaine began to spread throughout my face. I was the bo-tox poster child, no wrinkles at all. Unfortunately, I couldn't blink my left eye. It was open, and I could see, except for the watering, but I could NOT blink. It was the damndest thing. What a sight I was! Five pounds of gauze, now quite red and oozing, stuffed in my mouth, but also partially hanging out the left side, since I'd lost all control and couldn't close my lips, unblinking left eye, tongue hanging out to the right, displaced by the massive gauze pack. By the time we reached Husband's office, he was a little late, but one look at me and I could tell he was torn between empathy and uncontrollable laughter, so he (wisely) said nothing, and left me to drive the 55 miles back to Daughter's school. Drove at warp speed. Between the drugs, the watery eye, the pain and the rate of motion, looking out the windshield was akin to the scene in Star Wars where all the stars turn into little streaks of light. Picked Daughter up, who shuddered at the sight of me. Drove her to the store to get a new pair of tights, since her pre-party try-on of the costume had ripped the original pair we purchased, and to fill the prescriptions from the dentist. Even the hardened eyes of the pharmacy clerks widened at the sight of us. . . Daughter, having changed into her costume (sans tights) and me - a mess. The elderly crowd, waiting for their flu shots, parted like the Red Sea at the sight of the swollen, oozing, unblinking creature (accompanied by a butterfly fairy wearing three-foot sequined wings), before them. (I suspect some of them reconsidered what medications THEY were on LOL) Unable to speak, I had to hold out my driver's license and the dentist's card and motion to them what my intent was. Fortunately they didn't think it was a hold-up, and rapidly filled my prescription. I started the antibiotics, but held off taking any Vicaden since it warns against driving, and by the time I had to go pick up Husband, all of the wondrous novocaine was worn off. I could blink again, but it was painful to do so. I begged him to get us home to my awaiting drug stupor, mostly using sign language and grunts. At last we arrived, and I started taking the pain medication, which I have taken regularly ever since. God bless the inventor of Vicaden.

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Marti! I remember this story! I am soooo sorry you've had to go through this again. Last time, you should've remembered to bring your drugs with you so that dh could drive the 55 mile trek home from work while you snoozed into a drug induced stupor. ;-) Are you still picking him up? Anyway, if so, bring those drugs! LOL!! Take care Sweetie and feel better soon!!

S.

9/22/2005 04:53:00 PM  
Anonymous Colleen said...

OMG!!! How horrible...blech. I hope you're feeling better. By the way, I don't think Novacaine works very well. Both my husband and I need an obsene amount of Novacaine to numb the gums anytime we need dental work.

Eat lots of ice cream and take lots of naps!

9/22/2005 08:35:00 PM  
Blogger Lesser_Lumpkin said...

ROFL - I'm sorry but man that just cracked me up. Ok I'm off to make a dental appointment to have my teath cleaned now before I need to get any pulled.

I hope you feel better and that right soon. In the meantime enjoy the benefits of Chemistry.

The Lumpy

9/23/2005 08:01:00 AM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

Oh, you poor thing. OUCH!
I loved the imagery. It was almost like being there.
So, this was a repeat of the same highly memorable experience? Part Two. Yikes! Hope there's not another sequel.
Hope you feel better soon.
Pop those pills until you do.

9/23/2005 01:28:00 PM  
Blogger KristieD said...

i feel for you hun! I HATE the dentist. I got 2 dry sockets when they pulled my wisdom teeth...my face was so swollen, when i turned my head just slightly either way, my face touched my shoulder...it was bad. Take lots of drugs and feel better. :)

-k-

9/24/2005 12:49:00 AM  
Blogger Marti said...

Steph! Thank you for stopping by! Middle Son drove me this time, and yes, I opened those pain meds the minute I got them LOL

Hi Colleen! Nice to see you - yes, naps, lots of naps LOL

Hiya Lumpy, glad I could make you smile, your blog always gives me a grin!

Hello Jamie Dawn! I can't do this too many more times - I won't have any teeth left LOL Good to see you!

KristieD, I am SO hoping to avoid the "dry socket"! Thanks for stopping by!

I am doing better today, but still plying myself with pills LOL
I really appreciate all of the comments, thank you all.

9/24/2005 07:29:00 AM  
Blogger buffi said...

WoW! Hope it wasn't quite so bad this time. At least they maybe knew what they were dealing with?

Feel better soon, Miss Marti. We miss you!

9/24/2005 07:54:00 AM  
Blogger dddragon said...

I've had four or five root canals, crowns, re-crowns, a re-root canal ... not much real, original tooth left. I feel lucky, I never had an experience as bad as yours!

I remember my first root canal. I was at CalArts (near doug), 3000 miles from family. I was walking home from the dentist after the procedure. One of the school's librarians saw me and took me home for lunch. She fed me a peanut butter sandwich. Mind you, half my head was deadened from the root canal. Trying to chew a sticky PB sandwich must've looked pretty funny - or gross. Dribbled out the side of my mouth. I finally gave up.

9/25/2005 09:16:00 AM  
Blogger Laina said...

BTDT and it is NO fun! So sorry you had to go through that. Now I understand the liquid diet comment you left on my blog!

9/26/2005 12:33:00 PM  

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