My Boobs are on File with the FBI

Here's a story from my hippie days that should brighten everyone's day. Somewhere deep in a storage room in Washington D.C. there may be a picture of my boobs. It was 1971 and the war in Vietnam was still going on.  College campuses across this great land had protest rallies to shout and demand that we get our troops out of there.  (Why don't we still do that?  But I digress.)   So I joined a large contingent of teenagers in a university courtyard to listen to folk singers and speakers filling our young, impressionable minds with anti-war sentiments.  Then the rumor spread. Someone said that there were men in suits on top of the nearby building taking photographs. Word swept through the crowd that they were FBI agents and you would end up with a "file"  <gasp!> if they could identify you. "Quick!  Cover your faces!"  shouted one of the speakers.  Some were carrying protest signs, so they shielded themselves with their placards.  A few gir

Valentine Daze

At last, the flu bug has been beaten into submission here. Family members are back to work and school, and I am going to go sleep for 6 hours to recover myself - LOL Valentine’s Day is THREE WEEKS from TODAY! (All the male readers experience temporary blindness - LOL) I’ve decorated the ol’ blog - added a countdown (I will send the code to anyone who wants it) changed the banner and colors a bit (still tweaking the colors some, it’s hard to find colors that look good and provide enough contrast to show up well.) WIN FREE CANDY! Send in your best Valentine joke, and I will compile them into a post each Friday for a contest, and ask readers to vote for their favorite. You can post your jokes in the comments section, or e-mail them to me here : Valentine’s Day is Tuesday February 14, so I will announce the winner on Friday, February 17. I will send the winner a free box of Russell Stover Chocolates! Here’s one to get you started: A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. Aft

Gas Guzzler

Well, I did a dumb thing. Again. Duh - LOL Everyone here is still suffering through cold and flu symptoms. Thank you all for your kind comments and good wishes. I needed to go out and get more medications (Do they sell Nyquil in gallon jugs? LOL) It was hideously cold and windy, and my car was almost out of gasoline. Grumpily, I got out to pump it, shivering, my hands shaking. I jammed the nozzle in and turned my face away from the car because the wind was beating my hair into my face. I squeezed the trigger, latching it into the lock position, so I could put my freezing hands into my pockets and something didn’t sound right. I turned back and gasoline was spewing in every direction! I hadn’t gotten the nozzle seated properly, and instead of going into the tank, it was ricocheting back out, spraying all over me. I was drenched by the time I got it shut off, but then I had to stand there dripping, shivering and hoping I wasn't shaking enough to create a friction fire, put the

Family Flued

Everyone here is sick with the flu. Not bird flu, unless you count the fact that they are driving me cuckoo - LOL All home, all fussy. Welcome to Sneezy Town. Coughedy Central. Extreme Acheover. Will return at some point, when Saturday Night Fever subsides. LOL

Enter the Laughter Named to Blog Herald List

Well duh on me - LOL Took the day off from the internet yesterday to spend time with family. Stupid family! LOL (Just kidding) But it did cause me to miss one of the biggest honors yet for this blog - being named to the Blog Herald’s " 100 Blogs in 100 Days " list! I am speechless (which you know is a rarity - LOL) I would like to thank The Blog Herald for naming me, I am genuinely flattered and honored. Please swing by there and let him know this wasn't a huge mistake - LOL! Because I am too verklempt to say anything witty, I will reprint one of my favorite blog posts, from July 29, 2005, my birthday: DMV or Diarrheal Mahatma Voodoo Only in America could a severely flatulent white woman, a nice gentleman from India, and his Haitian wife meet in the line at a Department of Motor Vehicles office, and bond. Still suffering The War of the Bowels, I was feelin' mighty poorly, and the last thing I EVER want to do, (much less when I am suffering from diarrhea) i

Martin Luther King Jr. Day

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Acceptance Speech, on the occasion of the award of the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo, December 10, 1964 I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right temporarily defeated is stronger than evil triumphant. I believe that even amid today's motor bursts and whining bullets, there is still hope for a brighter tomorrow. I believe that wounded justice, lying prostrate on the blood-flowing streets of our nations, can be lifted from this dust of shame to reign supreme among the children of men. I have the audacity to believe that peoples everywhere can have three meals a day for their bodies, education and culture for their minds, and dignity, equality and freedom for their spirits. I believe that what self-centered men have torn down men other-centered can build up. I still believe that one day mankind will bow before the altars of God and be crowned triumphant over war and bloodshed, and nonviolent re

Fugly Feet

I have ugly feet. Really ugly. Scare small children ugly. Cause blindness in extreme cases ugly. Fugly Feet. fugly: ADJECTIVE: Inflected forms: fug·li·er, fug·li·est Vulgar Slang - Very ugly. ETYMOLOGY: Shortening of f*cking ugly. My second toes are longer than my big toes. My little toes are misshapen triangles, having spent their entire lives trying to hide under the toe they are next to. Both feet have multiple scars. Some are from breaking both ankles twice. The first time, when I was six, I broke them at the same time. Boy, wasn’t THAT a fun summer - LOL Third and fourth times around were spaced apart, but each break required surgical repair, resulting in several metal objects being implanted to stabilize the multiple fractures. This left each ankle with three scars, on the front and both sides, and made getting through airport security as much fun as having a passport that says my name is Marti al-Zawahri - LOL Some are from going barefoot every summer since I was born. By